I believe that we’re here to have fun. Our overall life experience is supposed to feel good and be fun for us – otherwise it would pretty much suck, right?
Many of us have just learned to totally neglect everything fun, in order to fit in and feel like we belong. We have learned to “Sit down, shut up, and listen”. Learn what everyone else is learning, and adjust to it. “Stop fooling around and help your mother – or father”.
“It’s important to accommodate guests.” “It’s important to be there for people in need.” “It’s important to help where you can.” “Use your skill for the good of man.” etc.etc. I think you get the point.
My own story
Let me just quickly tell you that I am a creative person. I know how to sew, pattern draft, paint, draw, sculpt, knit, crochet, and more – I can create many things with my hands. And as such, it has put me in a pretty precarious situation of NO BOUNDARIES at ALL for many years.
I have done so many things for other people, because “they thought it was cool that I could do it, and it must be quick for me to help them out”, and I had NO idea how to say no.
I mean, I LOVE creating things, and I LOVE creating things for other people too – BUT BUT BUT! It has to be in alignment with my own values, and my own VALUE.
And that is where the boundaries are of THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE!
(Please excuse the excessive caps locking – I am VERY passionate about this. XD)
It starts with ONE tiny, yet impactful step
I have started HERE – with the one action step – the one sentence you can use, to get more time to figure yourself out – and it has helped med ridiculously much!
Today, I am capable of saying no without batting an eyelash. I can say no without the need to explain myself. I can ask for more, if I want to do something for others, but doesn’t see a fair value exchange (too little money).
Today, I have much more self worth, self respect and self love than ever before – and I dare say, that this very thing, you’re getting your hands on here, is the tiny first step I took. And from then on, it’s just to take another step, and another step, and another step.
And some day – life gets easier. It get’s easier to be around people. It gets easier to ACTUALLY help, with the best feeling in your gut and your heart, because you’re not helping from a place of obligation (yuck). You get more time to yourself. You get more energy to yourself. You get more time & energy to other people too – BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS, when you put yourself first! You ACTUALLY get more energy to be there for YOUR people – for the people you WANT to be with.
Okay – I’m ranting on here – but I’ll just state, that this particular workbook is a PERFECT place to start, if you feel like you can’t say no to anyone, and you just want to yell out of frustration, because WHEN THE F?&% WILL YOU HAVE TIME FOR YOU!??!
Are you ready?
Take the first step now – get some pretty introspective journal prompts – some permission to talk shit, and one practical thing you can say, next time you’re being challenged for your time.