After interviewing Dr. Gay Hendricks I had to read his other book “The Genius Zone” – because he asked me how much time I spent in my genius zone, and I felt like I didn’t even know what it was.
Although, after the conversation, I know that my genius zone is where I feel at peace with myself. It’s where I feel connected to myself and my surroundings. So it’s not necessarily one particular activity – but a state where I feel those emotions:
Peace, calm and connection.
And better yet – when I get to share those emotions with others. Oof, I’m getting chills at the thought of that.
Imagine a life, where you feel at ease. At peace. And you’re connected to yourself and others in love.
What do you think is blocking that?
If you look at the image – I think it pretty much sums it up.
I am attached to my thoughts and worries about the past, the future and about other people’s opinions.
I give my fucks away, waaaay too easily, said in other words.
A great exercise, and what Gay Hendricks call “the genius move” goes like this (copy-pasted) :
1. You notice any sort of unhappiness occurring somewhere in you. Perhaps your shoulders are feeling tight or you are recycling unpleasant thoughts such as what’s wrong with you, with others, or the world.
2. You ask yourself, “What am I trying to control that’s actually not within my power to control?”
3. Sometimes you get an insight; sometimes you don’t. The wondering is the important part of the move, not the insight. Many of your biggest insights about what you’re trying to control will come later that day or even in your dreams.
4. Formally declare it outside your control, even if you don’t have a clear insight about exactly what it is. Say in your mind or out loud, “I consciously let go of trying to control it, whatever it is.” If you have an insight about the specific issue, put it in the sentence like this: “I consciously let go of trying to control whether Jane loves me or not,” or, “I consciously let go of trying to control my nervousness when I speak in public.”
5. Think of a positive action you can do right away, something you actually have control over, and take the action.
Feeling good in our lives takes practice.
Just like exercise, or learning a new skill.
If you’re used to struggling in your day-to-day life, start by committing yourself to just 5 or 10 minutes of feeling good. So your system gets used to it.
And by feeling good, I mean the deep true good feelings that come when you’re being the most authentic version of you that you can be. Not short term dopamine kicks such as sugar or alcohol or any other “quick fix highs”.
Good feelings come when you get your needs met, when you feel like you’re doing something that’s important to you, or when you do something that feels of value to you and others – among other things.
So what can you do today to feel good?
ps. Need someone to talk it out with? Book an empowerment call with me:
Get clearer on what you want
Get insights as to what’s holding you back
Get ideas for actionable steps you can take to move forward.
And get help ditching the people pleasing cape, that many of us have been wearing for too long.